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The Real Lawyers of Orange County

Orange County has got a lot of falsity in it perhaps. The Real Housewives of Orange County prove that with their everything being fake and filled with plastic and synthetics and who knows what else. But not everything in Orange County is fake. Not everything is orange there either, like those desperate housewives who grace, or you might say disgrace if you dislike them (I never dislike anyone unless they’re uninteresting so I never have disliked anyone), the screens of TVs that have the show on.

There are things there that are real and that are not fake. Like everything in this country anymore, it might seem like it’s all fake, like life is all one big reality TV show and you’re auditioning for the part of a lifetime, your lifetime in fact, but there are real things there. I have seen them. I have smelled them. I have tasted them. I have touched them. It might seem strange to have a metaphysical reawakening in Orange Country, but it might also be strange to have a metaphysical reawakening in church where the incense that smokes out heavy metal pots gets so thick you can hardly remember a Hail Mary or an Our Father.

The coffee there is real. Special Agent Cooper might say it’s the best coffee in the world. The Orange County lawyer there is real too. I met him in a bus one day while trying to get lost in a city which had so much order it made it difficult to make things downside up. But he gave me what I needed to get lost: some distraction in the form of words while he spoke about a lot of disconnected things that actually had a lot of connections when I look back on them. Like coffee and housewives. He told me he loathed that show because it had such uninteresting people on there. But that was where he and I disagreed so I had to tell him off. But by that time I was lost in the city with my Special Agent coffee, and having got what I wanted from him and not the bus, I thanked him and got off. I was lost so I couldn’t tell you where I was except that I was where I wanted to be.

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